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dinasleiman Posted - 03/23/2004 : 13:28:16
My husband became cell supervisor at our church after nearly a year of no one really being in that position. During that year, a new cell leader was quickly appointed for one of our cells without any training. He is a great leader with many good skills. His meetings are popular and annointed. However, he really seems to have no desire to learn or operate by the cell model. He doesn't really want to multiply or develop new leaders.

Now, he is under my husband but not being very cooperative. He doesn't outright rebel. It is more like a passive aggressive type rebellion. He rarely show up for meetings and just doesn't do things if he doesn't feel like it. Often he avoids our phone calls and emails. What would you suggest we do in this situation. Our Pastor has been hesitant so far to establish any consequesnces for this type of behaviour.
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touchadmin Posted - 04/19/2004 : 16:46:45
Dina, good to hear this was resolved or kind of resolved, depending on how you look at it!

I'm really glad to read that the email he received from you was taken well... for the most part, I have not found that email is a good way to challenge people with whom I can relate face to face.

Emails can be easily misunderstood and don't show my heart in a complete way. They also seem to be very easy to respond to in ungodly ways... hammering out a nasty reply is a lot harder than looking the person in the eye and voicing the same thing, huh?

I just thought I'd mention this on the forum because when conflict arises, a face to face meeting will always be the best way to resolve the issue. Both parties will experience more true emotion and sense far more through body language and verbal inflection. I also think it gives the Holy Spirit far more opportunity to give and receive ministry through us for one another.

I'm not saying what you did was wrong, but for some reason, I feel compelled to share my thoughts about it for the hundreds who will read our thread.

May God continue to richly bless you with His wisdom in all things. I also pray for the law student you've admonished... may he find the time to invest in others and may God give him incredible ways to read all those books and prepare for law classes without eliminating his ability to live in community with other believers! Amen.

Randall Neighbour
Forum Administrator
dinasleiman Posted - 04/05/2004 : 15:23:45
I just wanted to thank-you again and let you know we've seen good fruit from your sage advice already. Putting the ball in his court really helped me to relax. I think it also shook him up a little. He tried to talk us into letting him out of some of his responsibilites (he's a law student). We just let it go for about a week. Since I'm more relaxed about the whole situation now, I was able to send him a heartfelt, personal and transparent email about how his lack of participation has made me feel. I also mentioned that it has been discouraging to other cell leaders, and has negatively impacted the morale of the group as a whole.

He immediately sent out an apology to the whole zone. He said he supports us and what we're doing 100% (who would have guessed?) and that he does want to get to know everyone better and be a part. He just blamed it on scheduling problems.

I guess only God will ever really know if it was only a misunderstanding, or if he really was being resistant. Personally, I believe that this more hands off approach allowed me to relax and be open and personal about it, and that that in turn softened his heart.

I will look into the seminar you recommended. We are learning about that in the Cell Group Leader Training Book, which most of the leaders and interns are doing right now. Seminars are always a challenge at our small and very busy church. Most of our leaders also teach Sunday School, dance, do worship, hospitality, have lots of kids, two jobs, go to grad school etc.. Maybe that's a topic for another day.
touchadmin Posted - 03/30/2004 : 10:00:14
I'm really glad to hear three of your groups are large enough and have the leadership to multiply!

You may want to use the Upward, Inward, Outward, Forward workshop with all your groups (the whole cell group, en mass, not just the leaders!!!!) on a Saturday after Easter to help them make some plans and put the plans on a calendar. (to find out about this workshop, just type "upward" in the search engine at the top of this page)

Concerning the resistant cell leader, let me say that people follow through when they know what has been delegated to them is being and will continue to be inspected. Delegation and inspection, done with a loving attitude and approach, are the keys to successful coaching in a case like this.

Some hard questions are needed, huh? "What's keeping you from moving into an outward stance in your group?" etc.

Randall Neighbour
Forum Administrator
dinasleiman Posted - 03/24/2004 : 08:32:23
Thanks for your quick respopnse. I think it will be very helpful. My husband did have a meeting similar to what you suggested. The leader seemed to be agreeable about giving things a try, but we haven't really seen any practical change yet, which concerned me.

I think your suggestion to go more often and ask for some time to share at the end will provide a nice balance between keeping things positive and seeing that things get done. The main thing that bothered me was that we now share responsibility for his people, and we didn't want to see them stagnating in the areas of ministry and outreach.

The truth is that none of our cell groups have multiplied in the last two years, but now that we are back on track, there are three on the verge of being ready. The other two are excited about it, and looking forward to it, and really getting fiery about outreach and ministry. I just want to see that spread to this man's young adult cell as well.
touchadmin Posted - 03/23/2004 : 15:52:30
Israel was instructed to follow a pillar-shaped cloud by day as they moved around the desert on the way to the promise land. Did they enjoy doing this day after day, year after year?

I don't think so.

Funny thing about that cloud. It wasn't real interesting, but doggonit, they followed it and didn't wander off. Why?

Because if they had wandered off, they would have died of heat stroke. Israel walked in the shadow of that pillar-shaped cloud for many years to stay alive.

It was God's way of directing AND protecting them.

When cell leaders do their own thing and don't work hard to fulfill the mission that God has given their church and submit to the spiritual authority over them, they get burned.

I'd meet with the cell leader, tell him how much he is appreciated and valued, and challenge him to work with the church to fulfill the mission and be submissive to the spiritual authority God has put over him for his own protection.

If he won't listen and doesn't agree, tell him that he's painting himself into a very dangerous corner that you can't get him out of easily when he realizes it. Satan has permission to attack those who have wandered off willingly.

It may not have happened yet, but after this meeting it will surely begin... because he now knows the truth and is rejecting it.

The idea is to approach him and discuss this with his best interest at heart, versus approaching him with a "you're not doing OUR program right" attitude.

He does need to be approached in love though. Challenge him to re-examine his motives and ask him what he knows God's goals to be for the group members. Show him that discipling them into strong cell leaders is what being a cell leader in your church is all about and how the whole system is set up to facilitate this.

I'd also begin to visit his group regularly, and tell him you need ten minutes at the end of each meeting you attend to cast the vision for spiritual maturity through reaching others for Christ, mentoring them and launching a group of their own one day soon, hence the reason for the supervision in the first place.

If he doesn't like what you say at the meetings, you'll have to deal with it in a stronger way.

Bottom Line: Cell ministry is difficult enough without the added problem of putting a person into leadership when they do not understand and have not embraced the church's mission and method for achieving the mission. Insure everyone on staff and the senior pastor knows this truth from personal experience.

I'll be praying for this situation. If anyone else wants to add to what I've suggested here, feel free to do so! Also, I'd love to come back to this thread and read about what transpired, so don't forget to finish the story when it's done, ok?

Randall Neighbour
Forum Administrator

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