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 How to Use TOUCH/Cell Group People Resources
 Intergenerational Groups, Family & Children
 Intergenerational or single gender cells
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johnbanton
Starting Member

Australia
6 Posts

Posted - 09/07/2003 :  15:30:10  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I have been involved with intergen cells since early/mid 90's (in NZ) and have experienced the blessings (and challenges)of these groups. About 3 years ago while serving another congreggation(in Aust) we began a transition to a cell model that promotes single gender groups and I have continued this in my new church. Hmmmm...although the single gender groups (Bogota model) have some great benefits (ie. higher levels of accountability and openess) I somehow have lost the place where the kids fit in. Has anyone got any suggestions? Hmmm... perhaps 'single gender intergen cells'? What's working out there? Has anyone else in the midst of a G12 transition found this or am I missing something?

daphne kirk
Moderator

USA
37 Posts

Posted - 09/08/2003 :  22:09:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Good question and one that I am continually being asked. As you say there are some benefits of homogenous groups and at base level we have to ask the Father what He is asking for our own situation. However I am always conscious of the repeated Biblical edict for each of us to pass on to the next generation as a high priority in the kingdom. I have not found a simplistic answer for the way to "combine" homogeneous and Intergenerational (let me know if you find one!)
My passion and I believe the passion of the Father is that we sacrifically give all we can to this end time generation of children and young people and eqip them to shout to the nations that Jesus is alive and coming again.
I would love to dialogue more on this...!

Daphne Kirk
Reconnecting the generations and releasing young people and children to have an uncompromising passion for Jesus with a heart for mission and evangelism. www.daphnekirk.org
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daphne kirk
Moderator

USA
37 Posts

Posted - 09/08/2003 :  22:11:27  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Good question and one that I am continually being asked. As you say there are some benefits of homogenous groups and at base level we have to ask the Father what He is asking for our own situation. However I am always conscious of the repeated Biblical edict for each of us to pass on to the next generation as a high priority in the kingdom. I have not found a simplistic answer for the way to "combine" homogeneous and Intergenerational (let me know if you find one!)
My passion and I believe the passion of the Father is that we sacrifically give all we can to this end time generation of children and young people and equip them to shout to the nations that Jesus is alive and coming again.
I would love to dialogue more on this...!

Daphne Kirk
Reconnecting the generations and releasing young people and children to have an uncompromising passion for Jesus with a heart for mission and evangelism. www.daphnekirk.org
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James Bell
Starting Member

USA
36 Posts

Posted - 10/21/2003 :  16:52:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
We started our cell ministry with intergen cells and the #1 problem by far was the famous cry, "What do we do with the children?" We are now almost completely single gender cells. It has worked much better for us. I was frustrated with the lack of really workable ideas to solve this problem (and at that time I did not know of your work, Daphne), but I think there is something of great value about having the kids involved in cell meetings. I am open to hearing more about some of your ideas, Daphne.
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Gospelizer
Starting Member

20 Posts

Posted - 12/03/2003 :  12:32:28  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Our church (I am the pastor) has been using intergen. cells since 1998. Something that has always bothered me about traditional church structure is how a family can enter a building and never see one another until they leave. I think we have to be very cautious that cells don't fall into the same error.

I could give you instance after instance how the children have ministered to the adults. Kids are a blessing! When children are saved they receive the same Holy Spirit as an adult and the same spiritual gifts as an adult. They should be allowed to minister and contribute as well (or they will never learn to do so in adulthood).

That being said, the kids' slot is also a great idea for those groups that need it!

One of the problems of a kids' slot in our church has been the lack of other rooms in the house for the kids to meet. That can sometimes present a challenge.
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touchadmin
Forum Admin

USA
119 Posts

Posted - 12/11/2003 :  09:49:16  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I must say that not having enough rooms for kid's slot time has been a hurdle for every group I've been in as well.

It seems the kids are shuffled to a bedroom, where there's not enough room to play and they tend to dig into nightstands and dressers, even when they're told not to when the adult(s) have their backs turned for a second or two.

Daphne, any advice to offer here?
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Gospelizer
Starting Member

20 Posts

Posted - 12/13/2003 :  07:54:22  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
It seems the kids are shuffled to a bedroom, where there's not enough room to play and they tend to dig into nightstands and dressers, even when they're told not to when the adult(s) have their backs turned for a second or two.

That is exactly right. I saw one group in Phoenix where the kids' slot worked beautifully, but the house was HUGE.

Indeed Daphne, do you have any suggestions? It would be a great help!

Thanks!
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James Bell
Starting Member

USA
36 Posts

Posted - 12/17/2003 :  10:35:48  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Now we must determine the following about Daphne:

1. She is terrified of answering this question...the very one she had hoped and prayed would not be asked.

2. She is determined to answer this request, but cannot for the life of her decide how to handle this problem.

3. She is so involved in other facets of her ministry that she has simply not had time to check in here.

4. She cannot remember her password.

Personally, I vote for #3.
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daphne kirk
Moderator

USA
37 Posts

Posted - 12/17/2003 :  17:57:50  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am encouraged by the "converstaion " going on here and humbly apologize for not checking in! As you guessed I have just returned from having been right round the world since September.

I am back on queue!

This generation of children and young people are on this earth to be the bride that Jesus is returning for and to complete the Great Commission so everything we do must work towards this!

Having made that inspirational entrance that I hope will cover up my absence - I offer the following suggestions about rooms and space for the children to be in during the kids slot:

Ask the adults to move to another room and let the children remain in the "more suitable larger room"!!!

Take a large sheet and cover anything that should not be touched "out of sight - out of mind"

Do you have a cell agreement? This is where boundaries etc are agreed on my children and adults. This way the children have some ownership of the perameters. If you don't know about cell agreements (NOT cell covenenats!) I can unpack that for you.

Ensure that the material you are using for the Kids Slot is relevant and keeping them involved.

Lastly but perhaps it should be firstly:

Pray and expect the Holy Spirit to move powerfully among them, transforming them into the image of Jesus to go an make disciples of all nations!

I am back on track so keep the dialogue coming and forgive me for my absence!

Keep the vision for they were born for such a time as this!
Daphne

Daphne Kirk
Reconnecting the generations and releasing young people and children to have an uncompromising passion for Jesus with a heart for mission and evangelism. www.daphnekirk.org
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James Bell
Starting Member

USA
36 Posts

Posted - 12/19/2003 :  12:37:52  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks, Daphne

Edited by - James Bell on 12/19/2003 12:44:52
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James Bell
Starting Member

USA
36 Posts

Posted - 12/19/2003 :  12:40:37  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I realize that this is a difficult problem. I remember when we were doing cells with couples I received a call one night from a frustrated cell leader. "Can you help us? We have 17 kids and nothing is working to corral them!" There were just too many and the age differences were working against us, too.

Now that we have gender-based cells, we don't have that problem. I have never read a book or heard a speaker that really offered solutions to this. Maybe some temporary fixes from time to time, but no real working answers that would apply to actual cell situations over an extended period of time.

So we offer an outstanding childrens ministry on Sundays during our Sunday Morning service and the AWANA program on Wednesday nights. This has been the best solution for us!

Of course, we will keep reading and listening for some breakthrough ideas....
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daphne kirk
Moderator

USA
37 Posts

Posted - 12/22/2003 :  17:41:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I can imagine your frustration with that number of children! Have you read "Heirs Together" - it tackles many of these issues.

I recommend the following so that a "healthy cell" can grow and multiply

As with adults - too many children with problems will dominate the group

The proportion of adults to children needs to be monitored according to each cell.Like families, some will want more and some will want to keep the numbers very low. Having no more than two thirds children to adults could be a good guideline (everything else beign taken into consideration)

Cell leaders need training for IG cells and so do coaches and Pastors. Like every other aspect of cell values must change for this to have life.

Parents need to udnerstand that they are the primary disciplers of their childen and be empowered and supported as such

A cell agreement is essential with adults and children taking ownership of it

However the basic issue is "How does the Bible say we should train, disciple and raise the next generation?" That must be our focus. We all have bright ideasbut only the Bible can give us Gods way to bring forth a generation that knows their God. I find that while churches look to the Bible for doctrine etc they do not take a check on what the Word says about the environment and for children and young people.

So - good to hear from you .. lets keep talking! Daphne

Daphne Kirk
Reconnecting the generations and releasing young people and children to have an uncompromising passion for Jesus with a heart for mission and evangelism. www.daphnekirk.org
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Gospelizer
Starting Member

20 Posts

Posted - 12/29/2003 :  22:01:20  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Do you have a cell agreement? This is where boundaries etc are agreed on my children and adults. This way the children have some ownership of the perameters. If you don't know about cell agreements (NOT cell covenenats!) I can unpack that for you.

Unpack, Daphne, unpack!

I am quite familiar with the cell covenant, but what exactly do you consider an agreement? Might you also be able to give us an example?

Great stuff! Thanks!
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daphne kirk
Moderator

USA
37 Posts

Posted - 01/02/2004 :  04:42:25  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ok.... UNPACKING!!!!

The adults stay in one room and the children with an adult who can FACILLITATE them go in another.

The adults discuss things like:

How will we make cell a priority for each memember (adults and chidlren)?
What bounadires do we need in place for us and our children?
How will we respect each others homes?
How will we ensure that each memember (adults and chidlren) take their full part in the cell meeting?
How will we address the issue of discipline?
What do we need to discuss regarding confidentiality?
What would we like to ask of tghe children?

and the children discuss issues such as :

How will cell be one of the most im[portant things in our week?
What do we need to be careful of in the cell?
How will we respect each others homes?
How will we make sure that we take our full part in the cell meeting bearing in mind that the adults need our input?
Why is it important that we take notice of things adults ask of us and how will we make sure we do that?
Why is it imprtant that we dont go round talking to everyone about things that are shared in our cell meeting?

You can add issues that are relevant to your culture or situation for discussion.

THEN

both groups come together and share their responses, discuss further and put them into one agreed Cell Agreement.

This needs reviewing every 2 months because:

It keeps the agreement alive in the group
People know they must keep to it for 2 months and then they can discuss further anything they need to that they feel is niot working or they need help with
New members can have their input at that stage.

This is so imprtant as it creates a healthy cell (family) where there are recognised boundaries and codes of conduct and it creates a safe forum for these issues to be discussed. It models a healthy community.

Otherwise everyone has their own idea of what is what.

When a couple get married if they are to create healthy family they need to come to agreement on their lives at home otherwise there is conflict. Community is the same!

A cell may say "We dont have any problems - we dont need this BUT I would say that is exactly the time to do this BEFORE you have problems! Every cell needs this I often think that some thing similar would help many cells without children too!

OK... so now over to you for comments, questions, ideas etc!!






Daphne Kirk
Reconnecting the generations and releasing young people and children to have an uncompromising passion for Jesus with a heart for mission and evangelism. www.daphnekirk.org
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James Bell
Starting Member

USA
36 Posts

Posted - 01/02/2004 :  12:11:44  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Thanks, Daphne. I think this is a great idea. To start with everyone having an understanding of what the goals are is to avoid a lot of misunderstandings down the road.

Regarding the sizing of the groups, would you intentionally blend some with no children to balance some with several, and that kind of thing?

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daphne kirk
Moderator

USA
37 Posts

Posted - 01/02/2004 :  19:35:07  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I am not too sure exactly what you are asking (sorry!!) but I will take a shot at answering and you can tell me if I have hit the mark!

I would not "organise" children in groups with any different set of values than if I was "organising" adults!!

A cell can not handle (disciple) a number of disruptive children (any more than it can adults)

A cell needs a core of healthy committed children (as with adults!)

Relationship is a key factor (as with adults)

Children are in the cell because the Holy Spirit has drawn them to be part of the living body of Jesus manifest on this earth (as with adults)

The number of children in the cell depends on the cell itself and how it is developing. Some cells will say they would like more and are really having children minister, evangelise and disciple. Others will say they have enough children with a few of them (just like families make decisions about the number of children)

BUT I would not put them in cells just to even things out (you would not do that with adults!!)

The phrase "as with adults" is one of my key phrases and helps to answer many questions!!

So : did that answer your question?

I would love to hear stories, testimonies and ofcourse any more questions relating to equipping this generation of young people and children to be the Bride that Jesus is returning for and sending them out to fulfill the Great Commission





Daphne Kirk
Reconnecting the generations and releasing young people and children to have an uncompromising passion for Jesus with a heart for mission and evangelism. www.daphnekirk.org
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